Review by Pet Leopard

Interesting perspective on the time period and very original. From the point of view of Anne Boleyn, the author stayed faithful to first person perspective. In such a way, we were able to see the world as she saw it.

The quite ‘accidental’ messing with history seemed like only a footnote. The hanging of the Queen was used as an effective plot device, whose falsity did not get in the way of the main story.

The process of transformation of the Queen from human to vampire is one item of contention. The message was put forth that by simply having doubts in one’s faith at the moment of death is enough to transform a good Christian woman into a fiendish she-devil creature. One moment of renunciation of faith under circumstances of complete hopelessness is enough to wipe out a whole life of good? That is the one item in the story that I have trouble with.

I could get by that particular ‘chink in the armor’ by realizing one fact that was true to history. The human version of Anne did a great many things to hurt and backstab countless numbers of other people in order to get to the position that she achieved. The author’s one point of unbelievability was that Anne never really wanted to be the Queen.

Indeed, if I were to avoid the issue of good deeds being alleviated by an executionary renunciation of faith, I am given to believe that some of that evil that finally changed Anne had, indeed, quite possibly existed before she died. The evil that was within her was changed to a more powerful form, no doubt, after she was transformed. However, the devil does not have the power to create evil from goodness. He can only build on the evil that is already there. Enough said about that…

It is true that Henry was the true villain of the story. However, history tells us that his court of advisors was just as guilty. The issue of producing a male heir became paramount to cementing the power of the Lancastrian Tudor family. The house of York needed to be kept down. If the male Tudor line ended with Henry VIII, the shift of power could swing dangerously backwards. So, clearly corruption and evil were already in place in Henry’s court, even before Anne came on the scene.

The fact that she was wronged is an issue that nobody would question. Her mission in the afterlife, however, was somewhat one-sided. Granted, that she had legitimate cause to kill the people who wronged her, she did not have much of a plan beyond that.

I don’t believe that there was enough of an effort on her part to further her daughter Elizabeth to get to the throne. Nor did it occur to her that by killing, controlling and manifesting her undead power, she might be thought of as a witch. Hence, Elizabeth’s position as Anne’s daughter would be threatened in the matter of her possible ascension to Queen.

That having been said, the power behind the throne was just not there after Jane’s death. Jane herself escaped the evil by dying young. Probably that was true enough. Anne’s revenge was properly not geared toward her.

Reading about how the officials of Henry’s court go down, one by one, was like watching a stack of dominoes go down, one after the other. A certain sense of justice was put into motion, which made the story more a case of cause and effect, rather than a historical shift of power. Very effectively done, may I add…

The reader gets to know the good qualities of Anne, which most likely existed while she was young and innocent. It is very much a possibility that she became evil as a product of the way that she was brought up, trained and her placement in society. Indeed, just surviving in Henry’s court was a matter of having an edge over everybody else. Clearly, Anne never achieved that edge.

She never quite realized though, that everything that happened to her was beyond her control. No matter how many people that she avenged herself upon, it just created more evil, more innocent victims and made it more difficult for her to achieve her ultimate goal.

The re-creation of Anne at the end of the story as she was killed a second time was marvelously done. She was purged of whatever evil was within her. Just by letting go of her anger and letting history take its course, she was able to achieve what she truly wanted.

She finally was able to embrace true inner peace and reconciliation with her family. History took its course and all of Henry’s evil with its poisonous effects were gradually reversed. Elizabeth became one of England’s most powerful queens, one who truly embraced the best qualities of her mother, Anne Boleyn.

Good work by the author, in bringing the story roundabout from the supernatural to history as we know it.

Overall Grade: “B”

Review by Ida Vega-Landow

Do you like zombies? Do you like the Beatles? Both of them are currently enjoying a long run of popularity that makes them seem immortal. But wait a minute–what if they were immortal? I mean, what would happen if someone decided to cross the current literary obsession with zombies with music lovers’ long-running obsession with the Fab Four? Well, someone did!

Ladies and gentlemen, meet The Beatles, in an alternate universe where zombies are as common and accepted as vampires in the world created by Charlaine Harris in her Southern Vampire series, upon which the popular TV series “True Blood” is based. Alan Goldsher, a talented but sick-minded gent, is responsible for this black comedy; it is based upon the facts of Beatlemania which every true fan is familiar with, but with a grotesque twist.

Based upon the theory that zombies first came to England on a slave ship via the Liverpool docks around 1837, after a careless sea captain disposed of some dead slaves without making sure they were dead, Goldsher speculates that The First Zombie may have come from Tunisia, where the Undead are relatively docile. (“Docile” as compared to your average Undead, that is. It seems that Tunisian zombies can get by on a handful of brains a year if they had to, unlike your average zombie, who requires a brain a day.)

The First managed to survive by lurking in the train yards of Liverpool, where he was assured of peace and quiet, plenty of dark places to hide in and plenty to eat, in the form of unwary tramps and railroad employees working late. After the Liverpool sewer system was completed in 1929, The First and his children–all the poor souls that he converted into zombies–relocated there. And it was from there that The First crawled out of a toilet into the Liverpool Maternity Hospital on October 9, 1940, where he wandered into the room of Mrs. Julia Lennon, who had just endured a thirty-hour labor, and snatched up her baby boy John. After undergoing the Liverpool Process (described in gruesome detail in the book’s introduction), our boy John became the (un)living legend he is today. And because of the legendary Liverpool Process, he also became one of the strongest, smartest Liverpudlian zombies ever created.

In short order, our John grew up to become a major music fan and aspiring musician, who was determined to become “the Toppermost of the Poppermost”. But unlike the dearly departed John Lennon of this universe, he wanted to–dare I say it?–rule the world. And I don’t mean just the music world, either. He wanted to rule the whole world. So he recruited cute little Paul McCartney into his band and then turned him into a zombie. Paul then turned young George Harrison into a zombie. John wanted to turn Stu Sutcliffe, but Stu was turned into a vampire first by his German girlfriend’s best friend (the details of who gets turned into what get complicated, but stick with it, it’s worth the effort). So they recruit a replacement drummer from Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, none other than Richard Starkey, a/k/a Ringo Starr. But nobody turns Ringo into anything, because he’s a Seventh Level Ninja Lord. Come on, everybody knows supernatural creatures need a Renfield, a mortal guardian who protects them from their mortal enemies. So the Fab Four, in Alan Goldsher’s universe, are literally a killer rock band who loves their fans to death. And they have no shortage of willing fans who want to die for them. Except that they don’t really die, they just get turned into zombies.

This darkly humorous version of Beatlemania will appeal to anybody who loves zombies and The Beatles. The entire British Invasion becomes the Attack of The Undead Rockers, led by the Fab Four and their arch rivals The Zombies, who aren’t really zombies, they just call themselves that, which pisses off The Beatles to no end. It also pisses off Rod Argent, cofounder of the Zombies, who thinks the lads from Liverpool are just trying to ride on his band’s coattails. Meanwhile, The Rolling Stones are led by fearless zombie hunter Mick Jagger, whose attempts at eradicating The Beatles fail comically and disastrously every time.

The only thing scarier than The Beatles is John’s romance with Yoko Ono, who in this universe is not only an avant-garde artist but also a Ninth Level Ninja Lord who kicks Ringo’s ass when he tries to get rid of her to save the group. And wait till you read about what happened to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi when The Beatles went to him to be enlightened. Not that he didn’t deserve it, for being such a holy hypocrite in real life, preaching about peace and love while sexually harassing his female followers, especially Mia Farrow’s sister Prudence, which is why nobody ever saw her hanging out with the rest of the seekers of wisdom during that long visit to Rishikesh, India. But John claims that he, Paul, and George ate Prudence because she spent so much time locked up in her room and the boys didn’t like her standoffishness. John even refers to her as “Dear Prudence” as he lovingly describes how he and his mates devoured her like a fried chicken at a picnic; “Our picnic was very civil. I got the drumsticks, George got the thighs and wings, Paulie got the breasts.”

Without a doubt, “Paul Is Undead” is gruesome fun for everyone. Some of the humor is questionable, like the part where the Beatles drop acid and John has a vision of Jesus agreeing with him that the Beatles are, indeed, bigger than Jesus, because, apparently, Our Sweet Lord can’t play the guitar to save His life. I could have accepted that if it was only an acid-induced delusion on John’s part, but did the author really have to include a statement from Jesus in which He admits that He would have liked to keep John in Heaven, but didn’t for fear of offending His Father? Things like that can get you banned in the Bible Belt of this great country, Mr. Goldsher, just like The Beatles were. And what really happened at the end of the book, when The Beatles were staging a comeback at the Double Door, a dive bar in Chicago? Was this book published posthumously? Or is the author now a zombie as well? Unless Goldsher decides to write a sequel (if he’s still able to write, that is), we may never know. So get ready to meet The Beatles as you’ve never seen them before. The worlds of music and horror will never be the same again.

Dead And Gone

Review by Ida Vega-Landow

Once again I bring you a review about my favorite horror/fantasy author. I should say my favorite female horror/fantasy author, since my homeboy Patrick Thomas is still the man where that particular genre is concerned. Even Stephen King can’t hold a candle to Charlaine Harris or Patrick Thomas when it comes to describing things that go bump in the night and comparing them to the everyday horrors perpetrated by your fellow humans. Having delved into the psyches of vampires, werewolves, and witches in her past novels, in this novel Ms. Harris now features a supernatural species she has only mentioned in passing—fairies.

Sookie’s big brother Jason, the werepanther, (who was bitten, not born) actually begins to show signs of maturity this time around. He even defends his sister when the bigoted Arlene, who used to be her friend, lashes out at her after the Weres’ coming out broadcast, calling her “the weirdest, the most inhuman, of them all”, because of her close friendships with the supes. Well, between Sookie’s vampire ex-boyfriend Bill and her witchy roommate Amelia, who managed to turn her own boyfriend into a cat, Arlene does have plenty of reason for calling her weird. But Sookie isn’t trying to be weird. Weirdness just thrusts itself upon her. Like Eric Northman, sheriff of Area 5, Sookie’s little part of Louisiana, as well as owner of Fangtasia, the local vamp bar. Now that Bill’s out of the picture (Or is he? He sure spends a lot of time lurking around Sookie’s place after dark, supposedly “protecting” her from other supes), Eric wants to claim her as his woman. He’s in for a rude awakening when his chauvinistic expectations of traditional womanhood come up against Sookie’s independent nature. He also has to contend with Sookie’s latest ex, Quinn the weretiger, who still wants her despite her reluctance to take on a man with a mentally ill mother and an underage sister dependant on him.

Anyway, when we last left our mind reading heroine, she was still catching her breath from the violent takeover of the Louisiana vamps’ territory by the vampires of Nevada. Things have settled down and now all the vamp survivors have pledged loyalty to Felipe de Castro, the new vampire king of Louisiana and Nevada, whose life Sookie saved after he and Eric were attacked by a surviving bodyguard of Sophie-Anne Leclerq, the former vampire queen of Louisiana, who came down with a bad case of permanent death while she was still healing from the injuries she suffered at the vampire summit in Michigan. (Phew! Soap operas are simple compared to Sookie’s life in Bon Temps, Louisiana.)

Now that the vampires have come out to the human world, all the shapeshifters, or weres, wolf and otherwise, have decided to go public as well. So Patricia Crimmins, a member of the Shreveport Were pack headed by Alcide Herveaux, a former beau of Sookie’s, is chosen to go on the local evening news to announce their presence to the world. The broadcast is seen on the TV at Merlotte’s, the bar where Sookie works. As Patricia is changing into a wolf on live TV, Sookie’s boss Sam, a rare pure shapeshifter who prefers to turn into a collie, and another werewolf, Tray Dawson, the local auto mechanic, change shape right in the bar to let their friends and neighbors know that they’re shifters too.

Everybody at Merlotte’s seems to take it in stride except for one waitress, Arlene, her boyfriend Whit and his buddy, all members of the local Fellowship of the Sun, a quasi-religious organization which is opposed to vampires having the same rights as living people. Finding out that some of their friends and neighbors are more than human doesn’t make them happy; in fact, things get downright ugly before Arlene and the boys stomp out, calling down hellfire and damnation upon all shifters and people who associate with them, especially Sookie. Arlene isn’t the only one who doesn’t react well to the fact that some people are two-natured. Shortly before closing time Sam gets a call from his stepfather in Texas, telling him that he’s been arrested for shooting Sam’s mother, who’s also a shifter. So Sookie’s left in charge of the bar while Sam runs home to mama in Texas.

The following morning Sookie receives a visit from two FBI agents, who want to know how she was able to help the cops and firefighters rescue so many people from the rubble of the bombed hotel at the vampire summit last year. She can see in their minds that they suspect she is a psychic (which she isn’t; Sookie only reads minds, she doesn’t see the future) and they want to recruit her to help them track down criminals. While Sookie’s as patriotic as the next American, the last thing she wants to do is read the minds of psycho killers and terrorists for a living. While she and her roommates Amanda and Olivia (both witches) are stonewalling the Feds, another complication pops up; her brother Jason’s estranged wife, a werepanther, is found murdered behind Merlotte’s, nailed to a crucifix.

As if her life wasn’t complicated enough, Sookie also receives a visit from her great-grandfather Niall Brigant, who’s a real fairy. No, not that kind of fairy! One of the fae; his half-human son was the real father of Sookie’s late father and aunt. Fairies are an endangered species; there are a lot less of them in the world than there used to be. So you’d think they would welcome a few half-human additions to the family, to save their dying race from extinction. But it seems that the fae are divided into human lovers and human haters, and Niall, a real prince of a guy (and I do mean prince!), is now fighting a civil war with his nephew Breandan (an old Irish name, pronounced Bran-don), another fairy prince, who despises humans and humans with fairy blood. So her great-grandfather has come to Merlotte’s to warn Sookie about the fairy war and the fact that Breandan and his people are gunning for her, because she is a hybrid and kin to their greatest enemy. She receives similar warnings from her fairy godmother Claudine, who is Niall’s granddaughter, and Claudine’s twin brother Claud, both of whom have assimilated into the human world on account of all the internecine warfare between their sky clan and Breandon’s water clan.

So, in addition to the threat of being forcibly recruited by the FBI to help them track terrorists with her mind reading ability, our heroine now has to worry about being caught in the crossfire between two warring fairy clans. It’s Sookie Stackhouse vs. the Badass Fairies, and believe me, these fairies ain’t about sweetness and light! Even the good ones like Niall and Claudine prefer to hold themselves aloof from humans (except when an exceptionally attractive mortal catches their eye, resulting in the occasional hybrid), while the bad ones are as viciously racist as the members of the Fellowship of the Sun, who are also gunning for our girl. In fact, both the fairies and the FotS lay traps for Sookie, but only one of them catches her. She survives, but at a terrible price, one that will leave scars on her soul that not even vampire blood can heal. The only good things to come out of it is that she and her brother become closer as a result of the fairy war (she hasn’t been speaking to him since he set her up as a witness to his wife’s adultery, so he could be rid of her more easily). She and Eric become closer as well, though she has mixed feelings about that, not sure whether it’s his lovemaking, which is superb, or his blood, which he gives her to heal her injuries, which makes him so attractive to her.

As usual, the talented Ms. Harris creates a believable background for each supernatural species while never losing her sense of proportion. She helps us believe that there really are vampires, weres, and other unearthly beings living among us, with a touch of humor to alleviate the fear of the unknown. It makes you look forward to the return of “True Blood”, the HBO series based upon her earliest novels, this summer. I like it, despite the many liberties the scriptwriters have taken with Ms. Harris’ characters (like making Tara, Sookie’s best friend, black instead of white). People who only know Sookie Stackhouse from the TV series should make a point of checking out the first two books, so they can stay abreast of the series in case they miss an episode or two. If you’ve come this far in Sookie’s world, I urge you to keep on reading; this latest novel is a satisfying summer read, as well as a worthy addition to the rest of Ms. Harris’ works.

The Missing

Review by Budd

This Bram Stoker award winning novel is Sarah Langan’s sophomore effort and follow up to her first novel The Keeper. The Missing follows the citizens of Corpus Christi, Maine, as they are infected and destroyed by an ancient evil.

The plot for this novel is actually pretty decent. A more supernatural look on a zombie type infection. It seems like a fairly unique story. The pacing came off as a little slow. The reader knows that there is something strange and evil going on, but it takes forever to get there. Once it does, it is a fairly fun ride.

The weakness of this novel is its characters. Langan tends to rely strongly on stereotypes. All the males are distant, womanizing, abusive, chauvinists, and all the women are submissive, dependent, weak, and conniving. Because of the cliched characters, the reader is inundated by references to their stereotypes. The only thoughts running through the mind of the angsty teen daughter are of global warming and losing her virginity. The preteen boy can only think of video games. A result of the author’s characterizations are that the reader doesn’t really care about any of the characters.

There are plot holes and I wish the author would have done some simple research on the military, as almost anything to do with the military in this novel is completely wrong. The author doesn’t really answer any lingering questions at the end. It was like she was setting it up for a big reveal and then forgot to include that in the book.

Overall it was an interesting book. As the author continues to grow and develop, I look forward to seeing some pretty good books. If you are a hard core horror fan you might want to skip on this, but casual horror fans should really enjoy it.